i honestly just get this visual image

like we’re slowly tearing us aprart

like when i used to cut and shred the skin

they weren’t as deep of cuts, but they were almost more painful

because they were messy and ripping the skin instead of a clean cut.

self inflicting pain.

maybe i’m doing it again

making matters worse than just a clean, quick break.

a clean cut.

what are we doing to ourselves?

my mind..

i just don’t know where it is.

i have no where to land right now and even if i did i wouldn’t have any time to stay with it for any real length of time.

i’m so incredibly up in the air 

i don’t know what to do with myself.

i don’t know what to do with us.

…but i don’t think i want a clean cut.

i’ll hang on

by that tiny bit of whatever it is we’re hanging on with

i’ll hang on with you

i just can’t promise you it’s any good for us.

but it’s what i want.

as sad and painful as it may be to look back on in the future

it’s what i want right now.

i don’t know what this is.

i don’t know what to do.

but i want you.

i want us.

i miss us.

drinking a beer and listening to good music (aka washed out) in the hopes of it going away.

maybe it’s because i miss my lady love

maybe it’s because i’m worried i won’t have a third class and then i won’t be able to graduate/be full time because if i don’t get into this class tomorrow i have no clue what i’ll do.

maybe it’s because i’ve been a lazy bum since spring break slash le wisdom teeth removal and i don’t want to be but it’s too late to go to the gym and i just want to sleep so i can wake up tomorrow and have it be sunny and make the best of that day because i did so much today already so whatever.

maybe it’s because i love audrey and i want her here, as i said in point one and as i thought when i got home by myself instantly, hours ago.

three months wednesday

mazzy star tomorrow, holy hell.

that’s our little celebration.

woo hoozers

can it just be lovely for you too, please?  and nothing else? 

slugpunx:

i like falling asleep next to you and i like waking up next to you.  i like watching you eat, i like watching you get dressed, i like watching you do everything.  i like the way you look at me.  i like the way you look out the car window when we’re going places.  i really like you.